Hang in there. Whoever you are.
Writing Report Cards, Preparing Suppers, Laundry, SFU Masters Proposal, Exercising, Friends, social responsibility committee, parents and children, Writing IEPs, Christmas.........................BALANCE?!!
Hang in there. Whoever you are.
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I'm humbling, astonished and proud that this little 'Tree and Me" idea has taken root in our school. Eight classroom are involved, totalling eight teachers and 200+ students. But it is two students in particular I'm thinking of this rainy Thursday morning: Zoey and Chantelle. (pseudonyms!) Zoey and Chantelle approached me in the hall. There class was not involved in the project (no problem!) and they had heard about other students getting their own seedling. They asked if they might have a seedling. Their teacher was okay with it. They were literally bouncing on their toes, hope written on their faces. This was precious. Why? In my thinking, I've drawn a few conclusions. It was their choice and they were passionate. We know that choice and passion are critical components of authentic learning. What a wonderful reminder. "All truly great thoughts are conceived while walking." - Friedrich Nietsche, How to Philosophize with a Hammer I can't help but agree with Neitsche. As I wandered through my favourite forest, I was struck by devestation. Or rather, I was struck by the forest's devestation. Recent extreme winds and rain had pelted my beloved trees and many of them were uprooted. They looked SO fallen, so vulnerable, on their sides where once they'd stood proud, their roots explosed to our eyes. To be uprooted is extreme exposure and thus vulnerability. I wondered how hard they had fought, those roots. One of their primary functions is to hold the tree secure and they'd not been able to do so. How firmly, we too, stand and how ferociously we fight when the fierce winds come, when life rants and raves. I wished I'd been able to reroot the tree. But, upon reflection, I realize it is all a part of the tree's 'treeness', it's tree-being. No doubt, these trees had grown to old age, weakened in their trunk, in their heartwood. Perhaps, falling was their last great action. After all that growing, they rest in peace, and will take their turn in the circle of life. It seems a fitting sacrifice in light of Remembrance Day. I went down to the forest today. My daughter and I, both students at Simon Fraser University (crazy, right?) have been immersed in our studies on a delightful Sunday and she invites me to go on a walk. "We need a break, mom." Now, you have to understand that we live 5 minutes from a wondrous forest, which we walk regularly and have done so for the past twenty years. This is our 'go to' place, our refuge and replenishing of the spirit. So, off we go. My daughter shared something she'd found on a previous walk and she was correct in assuming I'd be uber-excited to see it. A mushroom hugged by a tree. It was awesome (in the real meaning of the word) to sit and marvel at its beauty. Yes, a mushroom. On the way back, I said that I needed a picture of 'reflection' for a school assignment, so we walked down to the river and when I got there, I shouted to Elyse, who was a ways down the path from me. "It's too rushing for a reflection." I stopped in my tracks. too rushing. I spend too much time rushing. I'm reading, writing and talking about reflection, pausing, taking the time to go deep and all this while, I rushing, too rushing for reflection. So, I'm taking this time to ponder the lessons of the mushroom and the river. Quiet splendour and too much rushing. Over the past three years, I've been involved in discovering my own identity, a strange quest on the face of it. Such an endeavour takes precious time. I was not alone on this journey, accompanied by friends, family, co-workers and scholars. The fruit of my labours is becoming evident: renewed passion, authentic learning, joy and...more questions. The last image on this post raises some of those inquiries. Perhaps they too are your questions. My hope is that I can help to facilitate this kind of journey with my fellow teachers, if they will let me. The journey is far from complete, but I feel I am on the road to 'becoming'. What a lovely thought to sit with. "Classroom Culture is the Shadow of the Teacher I thought my friend liked me, until she invited me to her exercise class. It was an invitation designed to undermine any thoughts I had of being 'fit'. An exercise in exhaustion and humility. As I lunged and jumped and leapt and burpied, my body started to tell me that this was ridiculous. It struck me that I was out of my league. I needed scaffolding to get me from my current baseline toward this exercise class. This class was not in my 'zone of proximation'. I suddenly gained an insight and appreciation for that grade five boy who operates at a grade one ability in math and language arts. How overwhelming his day must be. Just as I looked around at all the other participants, so must he, measuring and weighing his abilities and possibly, his worth. I'm experienced enough and have done enough self-searching to be able to own my strengths and weaknesses, yet still was aware of how I stood in relation to the other huffers and puffers. How can I build his resilience as he is faced with school day after day? I don't know, but today reminded me that it is important to remember. Yup.I do. Research tells teachers that if we want to improve our practice, we'd better start doing some critical reflection. Well, I reflect all the time , but that's not exactly what the researchers mean. They mean something more rigorous and disciplined (Yikes), something that leads to growth and change. And the literature tell us that the best way to do it is in community, but not just any community, a community built up people or a person you trust. It takes trust to take risks, be vulnerable and feel safe enough to hear true feedback. If you have such friend, I'd encourage you to solicit some feedback. I've found that usually I'm the one standing in my way, with a great big blind spot. Thank you to my critical friend. You know who you are.
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